I'm writing this on a Monday, when all around the world people are protesting, fighting Covid-19, trying to make sense of recent events, and some are simply surviving. I hold all of you in my heart as I know we are the midst of a necessary shift and it is messy but worth it.
I'm trying something new… Will you join me? I've chosen the theme Deeper Connection Challenge because in these challenging times it's even more important to be curious, and not make assumptions about what's true, and not judge people for their actions. Now more than ever it's a time for us to be good listeners and be there for each other.
Breaking free from an identity we’ve claimed or been given is an act of courage. And courage requires choice. In the Podcast, Dan explores what Redefining oneself means to a broad range of brilliant and interesting guests whose stories are not merely entertaining but also incredibly inspiring. So how did Jen and I make the cut? Well, asking questions is what we do, and what we train people to do.
I’ve been surfing for many years, but not consistently as I’ve never lived close to a surfing beach, and I’ve never had anything beyond a beginner lesson. I’ve been feeling a lot like someone who’s been skiing their whole life but can only do blue runs, with the occasional black run thrown in there (with VERY mixed results!). And I want to be better, so I keep going out, every chance I get. I get some good, fun rides, but I had plateaued.
One day recently I was out surfing, and though there were plenty of waves I wasn’t catching any. Sure, it was kind of choppy and windy but some other people were catching waves. Why wasn’t I?
Healing. Trauma comes in so many forms; physical injury, emotional injury, loss, and on and on. And all trauma requires healing in order for us to move forward in a real, positive way.
I have experienced many forms of trauma, much of it physical due to crashes on my bike, skis, and even my car. I have also experienced my share of emotional trauma and loss, and it is teaching me a great deal.
So often we set lofty goals for ourselves, like “I’m going to the gym every day this week!” or “I’m going to write for 2 hours every day!” And that can be okay, except that often, when we falter or miss a day we feel like we’ve failed and we give up completely.
Sometimes all it takes is a tiny step to create a big change. I call these micro-actions.
It was a pretty normal beginning to my Friday. By 6:30 am I was out the door with the mutts, letting Bodhi walk us around the neighbourhood in the dark, with a light rain falling. He is a curious soul and follows his nose, and we (Finn and I, and usually Julie) follow him. There was a moment about 30 minutes into the walk where I had a sense of foreboding, about nothing in particular. We were just in a dark laneway and intuition reared it’s head. I stayed alert but didn’t change direction...
My life is and always has been about asking questions. Exploring what’s possible. Impossible didn't occur to me when I was young. I was lucky, because not only did that lead me to great adventures and experiences but also into beautiful and powerful relationships. Engaged relationships. Relationships that helped me stay involved, stay curious, and see things through
Trauma is a word that evokes pictures, often unpleasant pictures, of accidents, wars, violence. Pictures we wish we could erase from our consciouness, and sometimes do. I’ve always mostly associated it with physical pain, visible to the eye. Pain we can see. As I continue to stretch into new awareness and understanding I’m expanding that perspective and seeing the full spectrum of what trauma is. What it means, and the not so visible impact that trauma can have.
Dreaming is good, in fact it’s almost an essential part of living, at least to me. And it’s not about not being satisfied with what’s here now, it’s excitement about the possibilities that exist, the idea that life is dynamic and things are constantly changing, whether we want them to or not.
The problem is that there often seems to be this feeing that the time isn’t quite right, that I can’t go for it quite yet, I have to take another class, I have to learn more, I have to save more, I have to be a bit smarter, I have to look better, I have to know more people…and on it goes.
It must be a dream, right? How could that possibly be my age?
My heart beats faster just thinking about it. What does that mean? Why does my heart race at the idea that I’m nearing 50? That I’ve been on the planet for nearly 50 years?!? Okay, now it’s beating really fast.
What’s different today? I’m one day older than I was yesterday. The other thing that is different is that I believe I am actually wiser. I’ve been really striving to be more conscious in life, to really savour my choices and be discerning about how I spend my time. Sometimes that’s hard, because I want to be in lots of places with lots of people and yet I know the dangers of spreading myself too thin.
